Changes

Things are changing quickly with Dad's health. He is down to one meal a day in the morning. We push puddings, ice cream and butter all we can to keep the calories up. He has trouble lifting himself with his arms. His legs give out on a short walk. He is wheezing and breathing heavy. (probably heart problems) His mind is mostly divorced from the present. He does recognize people and will say their name. Often his comments are babbled or not complete sentences. He does not have much interest in TV content. Any noise or moving color will do. He sleeps often during the day and in short stretches at night. His appearance has changed enough that relatives have commented on it. He has for years bounced back from problems, but it appears that there is no coming back this time.

Grace

The word has many meanings, but with Dad I think it a blessing that he does not realize how far away he has travelled. He seldom talks sense anymore. He is physically weak to the point of walking only a few steps, not pulling himself up from a sitting position, and breathing with difficulty. He seldom knows the day or time and wants to go to bed in the middle of the day and put his boots on at 2am. Yesterday while he was at his best I asked him if he realized how his mind was slipping gears. As usual it is not him, it is something outside of himself that is causing his mistakes.
He is not in any pain and is taking only minor medications. The latest medical mystery was discovered during a shower. Blood streaks going towards his groin. I lifted his fat seeking a hole and found instead a 10" circle of internal bleeding around an old surgery. Again, no pain so I haven't mentioned it to him.
Last night he had been sleeping for a few hours when the carolers arrived. I woke him and turned him around to view the singers. He thanked them and went back to sleep.

Characteristics

Two stand out lately. He wants to share what he has. He taught for 33 years. He gave money to offspring. Now he has food on a plate. "Try this." "There is plenty of this pile of mashed potatoes with gravy." "Have some."
The other is that he is correct. You may think you know more about nuclear physics, but by god, he knows more. And there will be plenty of swear words to back up his opinion.
This weekend was horrible. He was very confused, not knowing where he was, why I was leaving my kids alone, why both my cars were in the driveway (they were both in my garage) etc. And then to cap my frustration, he was up most of last night.

Tseuq Cipmylo

Lower, Slower, Weaker. That is the progression of late. The Dr. made some tweaks in medication and made an appointment for 6 months. Every body system works on Dad. The pills he takes are for circulation help supposedly. A fluid reduction pill, an 81 mg aspirin, one to open the sides of capillaries. The brain pill, aricept, has been stopped since the effects are unclear. In the evening the two tylenol pms were started for me in hopes he would sleep through the night. They do not work. Five hours is the maximum. He is up about 4 times now between 9-10pm and 6am.
His mind is slipping apace with the muscles. It is harder for him to pull himself up from sitting. His legs give out. He forgets where he is. He is still capable of giving orders and worrying about something. Lately it was a plastic grill on the dash of his beloved car. It was temporarily fixed (for nothing because of the "Rodman" discount) by the man whose wife grew up here. A new dash board is about $1,600.